Dear Social Worker,

Thank you for the work you do, for caring for children.  Thank you for putting so many hours in to do the extraordinary work to find homes for children who may not have the best home.  Thank you for putting the time in at the office to check on these children and do the hours of paperwork that goes along with each child who ends up in the system.  There are so many who could not do the job that you do.  There are so many who do not do such an excellent job as you do – who do not really care about these children. 

When you come to my home, please do not assume that I do this for the money.  I do this because I really do want to make a difference.  I want to show the children in foster care a more normal way of life.  I’m actually nervous that you are here.  I am somewhat intimidated that you are here as well.

When you come to my home, please talk to my children about their biological family.  Talk to them on their level and explain what is going on with their family, why they are still with me and offer information that their family is safe.  Do not ignore the feelings that they may not show.  Do not think that they are fine because they are quiet or distracted.  Take them aside and treat them special while telling them some bad news. 

When we have an MDT meeting, acknowledge that I am there and that I have valuable information to share.  Ask me specific questions that I can answer.  I actually love these kids and want to do what is best for them.  I want to make a difference in the decisions based on what is going on in the children’s life.  Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the meeting representing the children.  Everyone is busy.   I am the one completely focused on my foster children.  I have so much invested in them.  I am a valuable member of the team; please help me be seen as one.

Please update me on situation as it changes.  Any information, no matter how insignificant you think it is, helps me to have some closure on my day.  I worry about the children.  I worry that they will be moved from my care on a whim. 

Thank you for choosing a profession that gets no accolades and no fancy office.  A profession that gets little respect and little reward….  I am glad to partner with you for the benefit of our society.  I hope I’m making your day a little brighter when you walk into my home.



If you loved this guest post from Kristen, go check out her website at, where she offers a plethora of resources and support to foster/adoptive parents!


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